Did you know Septic Tank rhymes with Yank? Neither did I, until tonight. I couldn’t figure out what Seppo means, I just knew everyone was calling me that. Well, now you and I know. Wonderful little connection there.
This isn’t the first time this happened. Everyone I’ve talked to doesn’t like America. Lucky me, I know a few countries that start with U. I get asked that far too often.
Really, I love my country, I do. But even I acknowledge that some of my compatriots are dumbfucks. I’m glad Bush’s rating is 30%. I’m glad Dick Cheney shot an old man in the face. Its ammo to defend myself with. I feel guilty as fuck badmouthing America to fit in, but at the end of the day, I’m not lying.
Either way, between the pre-gaming to the party to the bar, I must’ve had to explain myself a dozen times. To my advantage, alcoholic cider makes debates much more civil. But I don’t get it. Its not like they have to defend themselves. John Howard (know him?) is a total douche, but he isn’t getting attacked.
But I’ve gone out of my way to integrate. Hell, I’ve abandoned my fellow Americans to socialize solely with Australians. I’m up till 2AM drinking with class in 6 hours (have I ever gone to an 8AM class?). But all they really care about is if you like Bush and if you can name capitals.
However, my hard work pays off. Time and time again, I’ve heard the same thing. “I usually hate Americans, but you’re the first American I’ve liked.” I doubt I’m some magically loveable person; in reality I think more people hate me than love me. But they don’t know real Americans. It’s like judging all of Australia from Steve Irwin and Paul Hogan. When you really get to know someone from a different culture, you realize they’re basically like you, but with a totally fucked up accent.
Case in point, I’m standing outside at a party at one of the res-colleges, and my pants are around my ankles. I’m not getting sucked off. It’s a song. Whenever it plays, everyone from St John’s drops their drawers. Considering I was just grinding to Günther (ooh, you touched my tra la la), this doesn’t strike me as weird. But as I swing without pants (no pun intended), they tell me that I’m now one of them. Being an Australian feels nice.
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1 comment:
Ok -- so, I'm leaving a serious comment on here for once (not that I was joking about acting like one of your ungrateful children, and getting involved in the fight for your pearls, etc., of course...)
I've been getting into a lot of discussions lately (mostly w/ Dave and George) about the Bush administration, and the legacy thereof. Specifically, I think most people have overestimated the impact of Bush's 8 years in power -- most of the 'damage' he's done (or 'victories' he's achieved, depending on some of your views) will not be difficult to repair over the next decade or so. Yeah, we've shot our national image to shit throughout the world, we've quite possibly made the Middle East more unstable, etc., but really, all of these things can be fixed. Especially our image.
The thing is, because Bush was at the helm of things, we can point to him and say, "it's not America that did these things, it was Bush, and 'his' America'. I'd be interested to hear if any of your Australians hold the somewhat common foreign opinion that America has essentially betrayed those things that make America America.
The greatest thing about the American system and way of life is that we have created a set of institutions that endure far beyond any individual -- the Congress, the Judiciary, the Rule of Law, Checks and Balances, etc. -- and one of the great benefits is that it limits the amount of damage any single individual can do.
That said, I think the single most enduring legacy of the Bush administration will be the new makeup of the Supreme Court. It'll probably be at least 5 more years, and more likely a decade, before another justice is replaced. A lot can happen in a decade -- especially since the primary role of the Supreme Court is the defense of the Constitution, the most fundamentally important of our institutions.
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