Cairns Opener (and Closer)

Cairns [pronounced 'cans', or 'cannes' for the film festival-inclined] is a very boring city. Believe me when I tell you there's nothing to do here. I arrived here at 10am, and was done exploring the entire city by 1pm. This put even Darwin to shame. The entire city can be described as "backpacker hostels and cheap japanese food, with a smattering of bars".

Its a curiosity really why the japanese have latched on so strongly to Cairns. The entire city is like one giant Chinatown, except with hiragana. There are more japanese tourists than white residents, and my tours (with the exception of diving) has been majority jap as well. I dont have any good explanation, its just an observation.

Its not even a complaint, as I love sushi. It just makes me realize how badly I've lost my japanese speaking skills in the years since leaving high school. As much as we loved her, my perky white blond American japanese teacher was totally ineffectual. Gomen, Sensei. On the other hand, I'm finally realizing what its like for foreign tourists to come here and muddle through fast English in thick accents. Maybe I've finally gained sympathy.

Anyway, seeing as I've already talked diving ad nausium, lets skip it. After my day off, I was headed for the World Heritage Rainforest, the Daintree. Needless to say, I've been looking forward to it for a long time. It didnt even bother me that my pickup was an early 7:40am.

What did bother me was when I showed up downstairs at 7:45, and they were already gone. I called the tour company, furious at the impatient driver, only to discover that the number I called was the travel agent. My travel agent hired a travel agent to hire a tour company to liaison with a bus company... 10 minutes of group stupidity later, I heard directly from the bus company that the bus was long gone from the city. I could still take the tour tomorrow, but it would only be one day, and I'd lose my extra day in the wet tropics.

Dejected, I walked back to reception to renew my stay. The woman behind the counter gave me a note. It was from the bus driver: "I was here from 7:40 to 7:50, but you did not show. You missed the bus. Please call the tour company".

BULLSHIT! I was there late, but I was definitely there before 7:50. So I was late, the bus driver lied, the tour company was slow on calling the bus, which may have been able to turn around had they called sooner... There was plenty of blame to go around. Instead, I just said "fuck it".

So now I had a gaping hole in my schedule, and there's absolutely nothing to do in Cairns, except maybe drink. So I booked an ATV [quad bike] trip that afternoon, and it was way more fun than any boring old rainforest. I tend to like dangerous things, and it didnt hurt that we rocketed through some pretty sweet habitat. I've now explored Australia's nature by foot, car, bike, by swim, and by ATV. I'll save helicopter for New Zealand.

And there's the fact that at the drop of the hat, I could go ATV riding in the Australian Outback. Pretty sweet life, wouldnt you say?

That said, I did did visit and enjoy the Daintree. It was your typical rainforest fare; some skink chasing, colorful birds, colorful but still retarded pigeons, baby crocodiles, an Orange-Footed Megapode (to round out my Trifecta), and even an endangered-yet-terrifying Cassowary (which I believe leaves me tied with John for neat things found). Not bad, I'd say.

Though, it is bizarre. I've seen almost all the animals I've realistically set my mind to see, and even ones I didnt expect like a wild Wombat. So where the fuck is my venomous snake? Hell, this is the country for it, isnt it? But, while they say "Build it and they shall come", and "Ask and ye shall know", they should also say "Seek, and you wont find it, bitch". It's just how life is. Dame desu ne.